Marriage Lessons

We're coming up on mine and Brad's 2 year wedding anniversary in a few weeks, so this post is dedicated to some of the wonderful things I've learned, and revelations I've had since becoming a wife :)

1. Separate bathrooms please! 
Forget having two sinks in your bathroom (we have that)...I want two completely separate bathrooms. I want him to have his own shower, toilet, and sink...in it's own room...on a completely different level of the house than mine! Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic (we only have a one story house)...but still, guys are gross, and they do not appreciate that the bathroom can be a wonderful room. You can make a bubble bath, and listen to music, and "escape" for a few minutes...but NOT if your bathroom has about 4 different pairs of boxers on the floor, and little pieces of hair all over the sink left over from shaving, and NOT if your favorite, snuggly, warm, comfy towel has been taken and used by him!

2. An hour is NOT sufficient notice
"Hey babe, I invited (insert name here) over to watch the game, grill out, play PS3, drink beer (you get the  idea) tonight...is that ok?" AHHHHH....pet peeve number (I've lost count...so just pick your favorite
number). I'm all for entertaining and having people over, BUT I do want some notice. A lot more work goes into having people over than guys realize. We have to shower and look presentable, go to the store, and we have to clean up (more than normal) because while I don't care that Avery's toys are scattered about throughout the entire house, and there is a sink full of dishes, and unfolded laundry on the couch...I care if other people see it. At least let me pretend that I can fool you into thinking I'm like Mrs. Betty Homemaker over here and I can keep my house clean and organized, work, and be a mommy all at the same time. Sheesh.

3. Wait! You mean you can't read my mind? 
Who knew that you giving your husband a certain look, or folding your arms a certain way, or ignoring him completely wasn't enough for him to know what was wrong, or what you were thinking! I mean, we're marrriiieeeddd now...doesn't mind reading and telepathy just kind of come with it? No? Dang. I'm still working on this. It's rather unfair for me to expect Bradley to just know what I want, or don't want, or how I feel about something without actually telling him...but, I do sometimes. Whoops :)

4. Sports
To my husband, sports rule the world. Baseball, and football primarily, but, if a "good" hockey/basketball/golf game/tournament is on than he's just as into that too. If the only channels our TV could pick up was ESPN (and all the ones that go with it...like ESPN2, etc.), the MLB network, and the Red Zone channel, that would be fine by him...actually, i'm sure he would prefer it that way. I have learned that when he is standing in front of the TV (like 2 feet away) during a game, that means he's nervous. I have learned that when he is talking (yelling) to (at) the announcers/players/umpires/referees/coaches on TV that everything is rhetorical and he does not expect, nor really appreciate an answer coming from his beautiful wife :) I have learned that yes, the Braves, UGA, and the Falcons really do effect his mood, and if I just ignore him being a baby about the fact that (insert one of the earlier mentioned teams here) lost than he will get over it a little sooner. He is a fan, and he will argue with anyone and everyone about why his team is better than yours...and honestly I would never know if all the facts and stats he throws out are actually correct, but it sure sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

5. Daddy's do things differently 
*I touched on this a little in my last post, but I felt it was important enough to mention again* I have learned that it is ok that it may take twice as long for Brad to change Avery's diaper, and that he might use three times the amount of wipes that I normally would. It's ok that when he gives Avery a bath that there is more water on the floor afterwards than there ever was in the tub. It's ok that he does things a little different than I do when he's putting Avery to bed. Bottom line is, daddy's do things a little different than mommy's. They like to figure things out on their own, and they are quite proud when they do. Brad does not care if the outfit he put Avery in doesn't really match, or really even fit...he's just happy that he was able to get clothes on her. It took me a little while to not want to correct every little thing he did with her, because once you become a mommy, you become a little control freak over that child (can't help it...just happens). Now, I more than appreciate the stuff he does with her. She loves him. She thinks he's the funniest person around, and knows that she can play with him as long as she wants (even if it's past bedtime) because he's always willing to crawl around and chase her, or tickle her, or dance with her, or whatever it is that she finds entertaining at that particular time. I love to listen to him read to her when he's getting Avery to bed...it's super sweet...and I think he's better at it than me. I mean, all the characters have different voices, and accents with him. I'm just glad he's here, and he WANTS to be a daddy. He's very good with her, protective of her and I know she means the world to him...and that's all you can really ask for when it comes to the daddy of your child.

6. Fighting
Fighting and arguments are inevitable in any relationship, and it's going to happen. If anyone tells you they NEVER argue with their significant other they are either lying, or they don't really care for that person. You're two different people, with two different opinions, and two different ways of thinking (especially true of men and women), so yes...you'll disagree. It's how you handle those arguments that make the difference, and one of the most important things is to know how the other person handles fights. It took Brad and I a little while to figure this one out. When i'm mad about something I just want to be left alone. I'll talk when i'm ready (and when it's appropriate), but I need time to sort through my feelings and what I want to say. I can't do that if you're immediately asking "what's wrong?", "what did i do?", etc. Brad is the complete opposite. He wants to talk about it right then and there. He doesn't care where we are, or who we're with, or what time of day it is. Our differences when it came to fighting just made the fights worse. I would be annoyed that he wouldn't leave me alone, and he would be annoyed that I wouldn't talk to him. We ended up fighting more over that, and half the time the reason the fight began was forgotten. Brad now gives me my space and isn't so aggressive about working things out right then and there, and I've tried to be more open to talking things out sooner than maybe i'd want.

Being married isn't always fun and games, because lets be honest...being an adult isn't all it's crack up to be sometimes. But it's worth it to stick through the not so fun times if you've married someone who picks you to go to all the Braves games with (even though he knows he could talk sports more with tons of other people), who can make you laugh even if you are so mad at him that you could run him over with your car, who will go out dancing with you even though he would prefer to go anywhere else on his one night off from work that week, who will work 70 hours a week if it means earning a decent living for his wife and daughter, or who tells you your beautiful even when you're convinced he's absolutely lying through his teeth...because lets be honest, no one thinks their wife is that hot when they're 9 months pregnant, and wearing your sweats because none of her clothes fit anymore. I love you, Bradley :)

All in All...It's a Pretty Sweet Gig :)

Some random thoughts I've had lately about being a mommy...along with some pics!

• I am NOT a morning person...never have been, BUT for some reason I thought having a child would change that. I mean, you have to get up with them (quite frequently throughout the first year) no matter what time it is, so I thought maybe I'd get used to it and it would become easy. NOPE! 15 months later and I would still prefer to sleep until noon if I could...and I will hit my snooze button about 5 times before I actually get out of bed...if Avery hasn't woken me up already :)

• Daddy's will never do things the EXACT same way you do it. Bath time is different, bed time is different...heck, even the way they change a diaper is different! But, it's ok...at least they are participating, and getting the job done.

• I can handle "gross" stuff way better than I ever thought I could. BUT I will never be ok with cleaning up chewed up, soggy, mushy food! YUK!!!

• Toddlers will try to mimic everything you do, so...yes, when you pretend to hit yourself in the head with the remote control, don't be surprised when your child picks up the remote control and actually hits herself in the head with it.

• There is nothing better than a nighttime routine, and an early bedtime. Avery knows exactly when bedtime is and has become such a good sleeper. And I love the fact that by 8pm the rest of the night is mine to catch up on TV shows, clean up a little, take a bath, read, or do whatever I want to that night...including making it an early bedtime for myself as well :)

• Your social life will change...and there's nothing you can do about it. You'll talk to some friends a lot less, and others not at all. You'll see your friends a lot less too, and as much as you'd like to just hang out and "get away" sometimes, that's not really that easy anymore. BUT it does make those nights when you do go out, and those times when you do see old friends that much more fun!

• I've never been a fan of a sloppy kisser, but wet and sloppy kisses from Avery are the best!

Life is different, there's no doubt about it...but it's great. Avery can makes me laugh, make my heart melt, and make me want to pull my hair out all within a 5 minute span...but I wouldn't change being her mommy for anything. Best job ever...but I do need to speak to whoever is in charge about getting a little pay raise :)

Hello? Are you still there?

Sorry a rediculous amount of time has passed since my last post :/ I've thought about blogging numerous times over the past few weeks, but I just haven't had the energy to sit down and actually do it. I've still been keeping up with my favorite bloggers and I've definitely missed writing...but, mama's been tired...period!

Avery and I have pretty much transitioned into our new (guess its really not new anymore) schedules of me working 4 days a week, and her playing with Nana most of those days. At first, Avery knew I was leaving once I handed her over to Nana and she was not happy about it. Now, she happily goes to Nana and me leaving doesn't cause a huge fuss anymore. AND the best part is that she's still super excited to see me when I get back...every single time!

I'm still really enjoying being back in the working world...who would have thought? But, Brad on the other hand, is having a hard time with his job and schedule right now :( For the past 4 weeks he has been working all closing shifts...not fun for any of us in the Gamel household...and it's wearing on him. He had been told that once their new manager arrived that the schedule would calm down and go back to normal, but that new manager is set to arrive Monday, and his schedule for this upcoming week is no different. He is NOT a happy camper. Apparently it's because his GM is now going on vacation this upcoming week. Grrr...if things don't get back to normal on Brads end soon, I'm afraid he's going to lose his mind! Poor hubby has been working so much, with no overtime pay or any kind of benefit...it's hard to stay positive when you feel like you're being taken advantage of and not appreciated. HOPEFULLY, ::fingers crossed:: once his GM returns from vacation his schedule will improve...if not, I can almost guarantee you that he'll be in the market for a new "career".

Good news is that he is off today!!! So, we have a busy day planned. We're taking Avery to Catch Air (its this totally awesomely fun indoor play area for kids, and we took Avery there the other day and she had a blast!) here in a couple of hours, then Brad and I have tickets to go see THE HUNGER GAMES at 3:45...in IMAX :), then after the movie we're headed to my brothers housewarming party. I am SO SO SO very excited about the movie...and Brads being a good sport...he knows nothing about the series or storyline. But, I think he'll enjoy it...its nowhere near as "girly" as Twilight, which I think is what he's thinking it's going to be like. So needless to say, I think it's going to be a fun day with my hubby and our little girl (minus her at the movie...she'll be playing with her grambino during that time). I hope everyone else has a great Saturday too, and "may the odds be ever in your favor"...dork, yea I know!

P.S. Happy 30th (wink wink) Birthday to my MOM!!! We're celebrating with the family tomorrow, since her and my dad are going out to get wild and crazy with her sister and brother-in-law tonight :)

P.S. part 2...next time (which won't be as long) i'll post some new pics!

Adjusting

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I've blogged, but I've been exhausted...seriously....EXHAUSTED! I began my new job last Tuesday, so we've had to adjust to a new schedule around here, and it's actually gone a lot smoother than I expected it to with a 13 month old...thank goodness.

Ok, so the NEW job is going really well and I very much like it...it helps that everyone there is pretty laid back and that I already knew someone...makes being the new girl that much easier. I know that working for the government has a bad rep, but i have to say that i very much appreciate the organization and structure. The people in my office are quite funny and enjoy joking around and having a good time. It was extremely hard to leave Avery the first day (much harder than when I returned to work after my maternity leave was over when she was only 2 months old), but fortunately Brad was off that day and I got to spend my lunch break with them :) Actually, I've gotten to spend a majority of my lunch breaks with Avery since if Brad is working she is at Nana's house, which is only about 4 minutes away from my office...it's a nice perk! My schedule is set up to where I'll work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. That still gives me 3 entire days with Avery...and hopefully Bradley every now and then.

Speaking of Brad...his work schedule has been not so great lately. Not his fault, and unfortunately there's nothing he can do about it right now. His store is now a manager down and that makes things difficult until they are able to get another person in. He does, however, have tomorrow AND Wednesday off (fingers crossed that doesn't change), so we are going on a much needed date! It's something we haven't been able to do for a while and something we're going to be making a priority more.

Another thing regarding my hard working hubby...his first review at work (he's been there an entire year now...actually, the year mark was a few weeks ago) is scheduled for this Thursday. So, keep him in your thoughts and prayers that everything goes well and that he is recognized for all the hard work that he has put in since beginning his career with Taco Mac.

Little miss Avery Cayden hasn't really been phased at all by our new schedule. She has thrown a fit once or twice when I have gone to leave after lunch, which is heartbreaking, but Nana has reassured me that she is completely fine after a minute. She has gotten very comfortable walking and has even tried "running" the last few days. She has also become more vocal about what she wants. For those of you that know Avery you know that she has really never had a problem talking. She has always babbled non-stop, but more and more words are understandable now and she knows it. "all done" is her favorite right now...she says it...over and over and over...every time she wants out of her high chair, or out of her car seat, or out of the bath tub, or out of the buggy at the store...you get the idea. Another favorite word is "open". She wants you to open EVERYTHING...even if there's nothing to open. Open the book, open the cup, open the door, open the back of mr. potato head so she can cram anything and everything into his little compartment...shew, she is nutty :) AND she has picked up on shaking her head no, and she does it...A LOT. It's cute.

We have made HUGE progress with bedtime and I couldn't be more excited about it. It's actually been going well for weeks now, but I've kind of been afraid to say anything in fear that I might jinx it (I think it's been long enough now that it's safe to talk about). There's no more fighting bedtime, or crying when I leave her room at night and she is asleep by 8:15 at the latest and sleeping a good 11 hours or so...hallelujah!

Speaking of sleeping, I am headed to bed...yes, it is 9 o'clock, but Bradley is working tonight and I need a good, long night of sleep to try and recuperate. Hopefully, I will adjust to my new schedule soon, but I doubt I'll ever feel like I've gotten enough sleep. Oh well, I'll still keep trying :) Goodnight!

OUR Story

Many of my blog friends have been posting their love story in honor of Valentine's Day, so here I am...jumping on the bandwagon! WARNING...this is long.

I went to school about 3 1/2 hours south of where I grew up...and from my best friend, Steph. And, the longer I was down there, the less I came home. It wasn't because I didn't miss my family or friends up here, because I did, it was simply because I had created a new life down there, and I really hated making that drive alone. Every time I was home though, Steph and I made a point to get together. Thanksgiving break of 2006 was no different (If you ask Brad how we met, this is where our stories differ. He is convinced it was summertime, and I'm convinced it was Thanksgiving break...mainly because I was never up in Lawrenceville on a Monday night, unless if was a holiday break at school...and since this is my story, I win!). Steph and I decided to go down the street to our favorite local Mexican restaurant for a margarita, and after splitting a pitcher (who can just have one margarita?) we were laughing, gossiping, and debating on what our next move for the night should be. All of a sudden this random guy, who had clearly had more than one margarita also, came walking (stumbling) by our booth on the way to the bathroom. On his way back he decided to sit down next to me in the booth and just started talking. Steph and I looked at each other, laughed, and proceeded to talk to him. A few minutes later quite a few other guys (his friends), who were on the way out the door, came to retrieve him. This random guy managed to spill salsa all over the table (and Steph's new purse), get Steph's number (I was in a relationship and knew better than to give out my number, and while Steph was also in a relationship, she is way nicer than me and can't say no) and fall flat on his back after standing up from the booth as he was going to leave with his friends. We decided it was time for us to head out too and somehow we managed to stand outside in the parking lot with random guy and all his friends and talk for a little while. Eventually we all left, and Steph and I headed home. It was a fun night and a few days later I headed back down to school.

I talked to Steph a few days after getting back and she told me that random guy now had a name...it was Brad...and that he had texted her apologizing for spilling salsa on her. We laughed and I didn't think much more about it. Steph and Brad ended up developing a friendship over time and became really close friends with each other...turned out they had some mutual friends. A year and a half later I graduated from VSU and accepted my first job post graduation in Duluth, GA (about 15 min. from where I grew up). So there I was, the girl that had decided I was never moving back to Lawrenceville, packed up and headed home. It was bittersweet. I was excited to have my first job, an actual career, but I was disappointed to now be in a long-distance relationship for the first time in my life. The guy I had been dating for the previous 2 years also moved back home, which was about an hour and a half away from my home, while he searched for a job.

After living back with my parents for 5 months, I had saved up enough money to move out! Steph and I had lived next door to each other practically our entire lives, and now we had decided to embark on living together! We got a 2 bedroom apartment about 2 miles down the road from our parents, and we were excited to finally be roommates! A few nights after we moved in Steph came in to my room and told me Brad was coming over to see the place. "Who?" Oh yea, the random guy we met at La Cazuela almost 2 years ago. I recognized him instantly and made a comment about how weird it was that they had stayed in touch and remained good friends after that night. I began to see Brad more frequently now that I was back in Lawrenceville and going out with Steph. One day while I was at work Brad began chatting with me on Facebook. Somehow that conversation ended up with us planning to go have dinner at La Cazuela that night. Steph was supposed to join us, but at the last minute ended up having to do something else. After that night, Brad and I began texting and talking...A LOT. Yes, I still had my long-distance boyfriend, but I thought mine and Brad's friendship was harmless, which is was...UNTIL all of a sudden one day I realized I had developed quite a crush on this guy...whoops.

I decided I needed some advice, and after going to dinner with my dad, I got it. Talk about being one confused, heartbroken girl. Here I was, about to call the guy I had been dating for almost 3 years now, and tell him that I didn't think we should be together anymore. Not because he had done anything wrong, because he hadn't. But because I was being selfish and wanted to pursue this new feeling and see if anything came out of it. It was hard. My boyfriend was a great guy, who I knew was going to be a wonderful match for someone, but I no longer felt that someone should be me.

After that, Brad and I were pretty much inseparable, and I fell in love with him fast. He could always make me laugh and we had so much fun together.

We enjoyed getting out and doing different things, and our relationship turned pretty serious pretty quickly.

We went on our first vacation together the summer of 2009, when he took me to Orlando. We went to Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and Disney World!

It was so much fun and I knew he was the one I was going to marry. I had no clue where his head was at when it came to that...I mean, we had only been dating 8 months, and he was almost 2 years younger than me. Little did I know that he had been thinking the same thing, and 2 months later he proposed! I was so excited and we decided we were ready to begin our lives together and that we didn't want a long engagement. On April 24, 2010...almost exactly 7 months later...we got married.

It was the best day EVER. Yes, it happened quickly...but when you know, you know. We have a precious family now, and while our marriage isn't perfect, it's perfect for us.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Changes are Good

Well, its official...this is my last week at home with Avery full time. I was offered the position this morning with Gwinnett County, and I will begin my new journey next Tuesday. I am excited for the opportunity and I am looking forward to the extra income, since Brad and I have quite a few "projects" we want to do around the house, BUT I will most definitely miss staying home with Avery full time. Thankfully we are lucky enough to have Nana who is excited about keeping Avery part-time and we do not have to worry about daycare just yet :) I just wanted to give a quick update about the job...I'll blog more later! Have a great day.

Whoa....Toddlerhood

"No." If I had a dollar for every time I have said that this week, I would be well on my way to a nice little savings account for myself! "No, don't pull Max's hair...it hurts him", "No, don't eat Max's food...it's yucky", "No, don't play in the toilet...that's yucky too", "No, don't pull EVERY single wipe out of the case"...you get the idea. Who knew that that one little, simple word could cause such a fit? I'm talking lay out on the floor, face down, dramatic crying fit. I find it quite hilarious most of the time...trust me, you would too. It never lasts long...her attention span isn't very long and she's very quickly off and getting into something else. When did my little baby girl become such an independent little toddler?

caught her before she could take all the wipes out

Don't get me wrong, I am very much enjoying this age. She's becoming her own little person, who wants to do things by herself, like brushing her teeth. She's curious about everything and wants to explore all over. It's funny to watch her try and mimic everything Brad or I do. If I'm putting on my make-up, she takes her make-up brush (a small one I've never used) and sits in front of the mirror and rubs it on her face. When I go to change her diaper, not only does she roll and roll and roll until she's free, but she tries to undo the diaper herself. She will look right at you and say an entire sentence (you can't understand a word of it), and then wait because she's clearly asked you to do something, or has told you something very important. She will yell at Max if she's not in the mood for him to be in her face, or if she's on a mission to get somewhere and he's clearly in her way. She's tough. She has taken her fair share of spills since she's starting walking, and has a couple of bruises on her face (war wounds) to prove it, but that hasn't discouraged her. She gets right back up and tries again (and if all else fails, she knows that crawling is still much quicker).

getting into the cabinet in her bathroom

brushing her teeth :)

I know this is just the beginning and she's going to become even more independent. She's going to want me to help her less and less, which doesn't make me sad like maybe it should. It's more reassuring that I'm doing ok at this mommy thing. I feel like we went from having a little baby that couldn't hold her head up by herself, to a wobbly walking, babbling, entertaining toddler in the blink of an eye. All this has definitely got me thinking about baby #2. No, I am nowhere near ready to become pregnant again. I'm not ready to start over just yet. Avery is only 13 months old. But, I have begun thinking about it. I always thought (before having Avery) that I wanted my kids to be super close in age. Reece (one of my brothers) and I are only 1 year and 10 days apart...talk about super close. We were only 1 grade apart in school. We knew a lot of the same people, and had some mutual friends growing up. Of course he got on my nerves, what little brother doesn't, but I always had someone to play with or hang out with. And now, we're still close and good friends. I want that for Avery, but I'm just not ready...but, that's an entirely different, long post for another day.

For now I'm just enjoying this age. It's fun! It's also tiring, and I can't imagine being pregnant right now, or having another baby to take care of at the same time. Hopefully my kids will still be good friends no matter what the age difference may be between them. Besides, Avery has a few cousins to keep her occupied for the time being :)

Here's the 1 video we have of Avery walking so far, for those of you that haven't seen it yet :) And yes, she has the same huge smile on her face EVERY time...it's adorable...she is very proud of herself!

P.S. My goal is start taking more pictures of just everyday life around our house. I hate that I haven't captured any of these temper tantrums, or many of these cute acts of her being a "big girl".

Also, still haven't heard anything from the potential job. I'm not sure how long it takes to do a complete background check on someone (it's only been 3 business days since everything was submitted), but I know that part of it is sending out an employee verification reference form to 2 of my previous employers and waiting on them to fill out their part and send it back...so, who knows...this could take a while.